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I think a far more interesting question would be, Why do you do it, but that’s neither here nor there. Melissa goes to empower the reader with the knowledge that, no matter the state of Gool Never Underestimate A Woman Who Loves Cats And Was Born In January Shirt marriage, there’s always a way to turn things around. I am breathless with relief, and immediately begin making plans to send a copy of this book to every domestic violence hotline in the nation. How silly of me — the solution was there the whole time! How disappointing that all of those other women couldn’t have just tried a little harder.
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With that selfless act of charity over and done with, I soldier on through the Gool Never Underestimate A Woman Who Loves Cats And Was Born In January Shirt paragraph, in which Melissa introduces her “overriding ‘Gorganizing’ principle” of a good marriage: “treat your husband like a King.” As a side note, for what I can only assume is an incredibly well-thought-out and heavily symbolic reason, the words “King” and “Queen” are capitalized throughout the book (or, at least, throughout this chapter). But treating your husband like royalty doesn’t mean you have to be a subservient pushover!
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I realize how much my standards have been lowered by my recent run of Housewives memoirs since my only reaction is to be decently impressed that Melissa got the Gool Never Underestimate A Woman Who Loves Cats And Was Born In January Shirt of chess correct. I create the playbook for our marriage. On our chessboard, I’m zooming up the iTunes charts and performing on concert stages, but I’m never more than one step away from being at my husband’s side. call them “Joements.” Whenever you see boldly typeset in a box, like below, know that these are my man’s words. For extra fun, read it out loud in Joe’s voice.